A Story of Forgiveness

If there is one thing that I learned this weekend, it is that forgiveness is essential to being a true Christ follower. And by forgiveness I don't mean holding a grudge on someone until, out of guilt, they apologize and you say you accept their apology, but really you don't. No I don't mean that kind of forgiveness, look http://chillipear.com/procera-avh-reviews.html. I mean true, Christ like, honest, forgiveness.

For me, I never knew exactly how to forgive. How to move on and get over it. I always took it to heart and I couldn't forgive easily. Nor did I want to. I've learned though, that forgiveness is completely about looking at yourself first before you are able to forgive someone else. Looking at your heart and what you've done wrong is the first step to it all. It's about looking at what you can do better and move forward. It's not about what the other person has done and shaming them for it. I've learned you have to look at yourself and once you have asked for forgiveness from God, it's amazing how much more real your forgiveness will be and how much easier it will come.

For me, I just learned how to do this and the more I practice it, the healthier my spiritual heart gets for God. Where it has helped me the most and strengthen me the most is through a broken friendship that I never saw being healed. For five years I had the best friend any girl could have asked for. We went through high school together, spending every Friday night at one of our houses, we laughed, we cried, we made mistakes, but we went through it all together. As college came into the picture, things started changing for both of us before we knew it. I found God and I tried more than anything to get her to see what I saw, to feel how I felt, but I couldn't. She was going in the complete opposite direction and I couldn't stop her. It was then after five years that I had to tell her I couldn't be friends. I told her that she wasn't doing things that I agreed with and I felt like a person on the back burner instead of her best friend. Time changes things right? Well yes, they did. As much as it hurt to tell her and walk away from it, I felt like I had to.

Jesus had a plan behind it all though. Doesn't He always? Fast forward a little over a year from when I told her I couldn't do it anymore, she texted me out of the blue. She told me she was thinking of me and wanted to catch up before she went back to school, but I couldn't build up the courage to do it. I didn't know if she'd change, I didn't know if I was ready for that. As much as I missed my best friend, I didn't want to get hurt again, so I chose not to respond.

Fast forward a couple of months and I'm on a plane ride back home and for some reason the only person on my heart is her. It was the most powerful inclination and feeling that I've ever felt before to reach out to her. I thought to myself, okay God really funny. I thought that was over with, I thought it was a bad influence on me, why are You doing this? Well despite my kicking and screaming little banter I had in my head, I finally ended up texting her back:months later.

The text I got back was nothing short of a Jesus filled miracle. He knows what we need and when we need it. Long story, super short:the morning I sent the text, the night before was one of the hardest nights that she was going through in a very long time. After talking to her I came to learn that my best friend had given her life to Jesus. Fully and completely. I didn't even know what to expect because in all honesty I was ashamed of myself. Ashamed for walking away and not loving her like I should have. Ashamed of not texting her back. Ashamed of not even worrying if she was doing okay. A year and half went by and I spent it without one of the most important people in my life. I know that everything happens for a reason though. We weren't in each others lives for a reason during that time and now, now we are but in a much different way.

It's as if we have started a new chapter in this story book that we have been living in. A whole new chapter of our lives, with Christ at the center. It's amazing how He works. I never would have been able to text her back had it not been for forgiveness. Had it not been for Jesus softening my heart and making me realize what I should do. I don't doubt God at all. How could I? After thinking that I would never have my best friend back and all that time goes by, then this happens. It seems surreal, but it's as real as anything because God orchestrated it.

So all I can say is if you're praying for something to happen that you never think will, think again. And if you are holding something against someone you love, look at your heart and ask for forgiveness and see where that takes you. Because I can almost guarantee it will lead you to Jesus and He is the One who will not only fix what was broken, but turn it into something so much more beautiful.